August 30, 2015

#LoveYourSelfChallenge

We have all been there before, somedays we think we are amazing and everything is going “perfect” in our lives. Somedays we don’t like everything and anything about ourselves. We all struggle with Loving ourselves, some more than others. I am about to get super real right now this is what goes on in my mind and its a consistent battle for me day in and day out(Just FYI: I do not like being vulnerable, but here it goes!). Some days better than others. I am more confident than where I was before, if I were to tell my teenage self years ago, I have grown in confident than I ever had as a teen. I wouldn’t have believed myself, I would laugh and roll my eyes while saying it in a sarcastic way “Me loving myself?!, Me being confident?!, Me actually being outgoing?!, Me speaking in front of people?! You got to be kidding me!” I do admit I have come along way from being that teenage girl who had low esteem, who didn’t think she was beautiful, smart, funny, outgoing, who has a huge calling in her life, she’s not good at this or she’s not good at that, nor did she think she could be a real leader, or even that people would even like her or think she was cool. But little by little I did start to stretch myself to boost my self esteem, also have people in my life who has or is investing in my life. I have grown a lot but I am still no where I want to be.

Do I still occasionally think of all those things? Absolutely! But I know I am not alone in this battle, overall women struggle with it the most(Men do too!) But in society we are bombarded with so much on how a Woman should be, what we should like, what we should not like, we have to act like a certain way.

Today as I was getting ready for church,I was proud of myself on getting prepared for my 5th and 6th grade class that I lead on sunday nights, I watched the video, I read the questions, I wrote down my huddle pep talk for the leaders for the class that helps with me for that service. After I was finished preparing for the group tonight, started to get ready I decided  to try a new hair style to go with my look, got a little Kat Von D lip inspiration going on, then the thought came to mind “I should do something for myself everyday to help love myself and feel special about myself.” Which then I realized I needed to leave and I forgot to put my mascara on which right then and there I felt naked without it and the negative thoughts started to flow through my mind. I had to stop myself and give myself a little pep talk about it’s ok you look fine, your trying something new and none will notice that you don’t have mascara on. Almost forgot my journal which had my huddle pep talk in there! turned my car around to get my journal. Made it to church on time! Yay me! got a few compliments from a few ladies( including my nana who I saw earlier) on my look of the day. Got my coffee, sat down where I normally sit at, worship was amazing, then our Pastor Craig Groeschel Spoke about “A way out” which was the final week of the series which has been talking about temptation and how there is a way out of the temptations we struggle with. While I was listen to him talk about how we can feed ourselves spiritually. I felt one of the things I am tempted with not loving myself. Which I felt like I needed to challenge myself for 30 days in a row to towards the road of how God sees me and to love myself, and accept the woman that God is challenging me to be. So if you would like to join me in this challenge, I don’t have a list of the day to day like most challenges do. I am going to find one thing that helped me love myself, that made me feel special. It can be anything that is positive. You try a new hairstyle you have never done before, working out, trying a new hobby, spoiling yourself, getting yourself out of debt, anything that will help celebrate the woman God created you to become!

If you want to be a part of this challenge I am here for you and would love to follow your journey! please use the hashtags #LoveYourSelfChallenge and #Lookifoundnewland

I am on:

Instagram: @ifoundnewland

Twitter: @ifoundnewland

Past the word!

Love you all!

New Hairstyle

New Hairstyle

March 29, 2014

Hello Spring!

I know its a few days late on welcoming the official day of Spring, but here in Nashville we have been having crazy weather one day it’s snowing the next day it’s sunny and 70 degrees!

But I love Spring its a season of inspiration, creativity and bright colors!

Here are a few fashion treads I am loving this Spring!

Lace:

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Dress: LOFT $118.00 

Scalloped Edging:

I remember in 2009 finding a dress from this Vintage Store in Dallas called Ahab Bowen(Which is sadly closed for awhile now.)

a black scalloped edge dress from the 1960’s fast forward to 2014 its a huge thing right now. Its so trendy and feminine.

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Skirt: LOFT $69.50

Dress: LOFT $89.50

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January 12, 2014

The Power Of Your Thoughts.

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My biggest Kryptonite that I face are my thoughts, has been for as long as I can remember. It used to be really bad, my thoughts controlled my self worth, determination, goals, and consumed my whole life.

As a young girl, I was quiet and shy but yet sometimes I was bold and had an opinion. I grew up knowing that I was different, kids made fun of me because I was different or being taunted cause they thought I was ugly. Their thoughts of me were nailed to my brain, for years I struggled with that. Then one day in High School I decided after reading The Word Of God.

“So God created human beings[a] in his own image.
In the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.” -Genesis 1:27

When I read that I thought God is amazing, creative and beautiful. If I am created in his own imagine then I am also amazing, creative and beautiful. I felt the love from him cause if you really think about it, If God didn’t love us he would have never created us. But I made a poster that said “God made me beautiful” and I said it to myself everyday till I believed it for myself.

Fast forward to my 20somethings present day. Do I still struggle with my thoughts? Yes I do, its a day to day step to overcome. I believe can and will overcome it. I believe I can achieve my dreams regardless in what other people say and yet what I have to think of myself. I started going to this church called Lifechurch.tv with Pastor Craig Groeschel here in Nashville. Even though his actual church is placed somewhere else. He has been doing this powerful food for thought of a sermon series “Small Things, Big Difference.” We are all capable of being impactful, achieving our dreams, and changing the world. We just have to change ourselves first, starting with our thoughts. Over the years I have realized I am a smart, beautiful, independent,creative, compassionate, worthy of being a successful fashion designer, wife and mother someday.  Whatever is your strongest thoughts is where your life will be in it’s direction.

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 NKJV

Always know that your thoughts and words do matter.

Will you allow the positive or the negative thoughts determine your life?

(Photo I found on Pinterest, and I would love to have that in my room soon!)

January 9, 2014

The Year Of Creativity!

After pondering and praying what this year will bring what I know so far is something that I am excited about. I feel like this is the year of creativity for me, more than I ever experience in my life, more than I can ever dream of. I got a confirmation that this is my year to expand myself. My dry spell started to be lifted away fall of last year by writing poetry, a dear close friend of mine wanted to use my poetry and turn into lyrics. Now at work they want me to create a fashion inspiration board, which made me the happiest girl in the world to express myself more at work which I am able to already but more so. Which is getting me motivated to work on my portfolio to get into Fashion School, the dream I always dreamed of but was too scared to try to achieve it. Now I realized what do I have to lose, I will never know how it will end up, but I am aflamed to see what is in store this year. Bring on the year of creativity!Image  

December 26, 2013

Merry Christmas!! Oh Wait…. It’s Almost 2014!

Crazy year it has been! It has gone by so quickly! I have survived a year in Music City. But what will 2014 entail? I have no idea really quite yet. There are many things I want to do but haven’t prioritize what I want to do for 2014 and stick with it. I do want to go back to school but which school, what degree to get started on. What hobbies do I want to pursue? How can I change myself in 2014 vs 2013? Will I be moving to the East Coast or some place else? Will I travel to a far away land and feel the freedom of wanderlust? Will 2014 be the year of my big breakthrough of getting somewhere in life? That is something and many others are trying to figure out. Many of us make New Years Resolutions yet we don’t stick to them. I want to make something that I can achieve. I thought about making a bucket list but is that even better? We shall see. Till then I am learning to take things day by day and try to enjoy each day as much as I can.

November 12, 2013

Breathing November

Leaves finishing turning colors, slowly floating off the branches of the trees on to the cold wet ground. Never did I thought my Novembers will forever change my life. Growing up as a child I had a younger brother who was the most energetic, funniest, most likable child I have ever met of course we had are moments well a lot of moments, but it will never change the fact that he was my first guy best friend whether at the time of adolescence would we ever admit that cause we thought we were too cool for that. Most times we played it off quite well of people around school not knowing we were related until they put two and two together with our last name since there was only two of us with the last name “Newland”. But at home were there for each other my private confidante whenever I didn’t feel like I could open up to my parents about my life I went to him with our late night talks spilling my heart with all my insecurities, hurts, dreams and secrets(Rather than him reading my journal). My work out buddy when I was off season for wrestling and tried to stay in shape, taking the route of where we knew this man owned a beautiful red Dodge Viper just to hope we get a glimpse of that beauty. I went off to college, to find myself but it was hard to leave my brother back in Seattle, but I knew I had to do what I needed to do. Finally hope came upon the horizon he had a second chance at life to be the boy I knew him to be as a child someone who would breathe the clear sweet fresh Seattle air for the first time ever in his life and do things he always dreamed of doing and so much more. The hopes and dreams I had that he would survive to see his older sister to find the love of her life that he would approve of( cause all men I have ever dated wasn’t good enough in his mind, he always knew I could do better),, see her dressed in the most beautiful white wedding gown while walking down the aisle, to see his nieces and nephews spoiling them with Gummy bears and mozzarella sticks, To see him get married to the love of his life, and dreaming he would have children so we could bring our children together to The Mariners Baseball games. Yet two years ago those dreams were shuttered into millions of pieces like a mirror being hit with a baseball bat over and over again. One moment he was fine and happy then all of sudden he became ill, all of us had hope he would bounce back like he has done all his life. But this time wasn’t the case.  Never did I thought I would see my brother take his last breath right in front of my eyes of disbelief. Even though I knew he would go to a wonderful place where he would be able to breathe freely for eternity with no more pain, I wasn’t ready for it. Two years later I am still healing and I have my moments especially the month of November, but he will forever give me the inspiration to move forward in life, go after the dreams I dared not would have follow. Inhale, Exhale, I am Breathing November.

I will always have you forever in my heart

Love you Always Justin.

October 1, 2013 Image

The Unexpected

The Unexpected

Grumbling and getting overly frustrated in the quest finding my workout shoes. Tearing my room apart trying to find them even though I cleaned and organized my room I couldn’t find them for the life of me! You may ask why it was so frustrating? I just recently got a job at the gym so I was taking a advantage of my gym membership as an employee there for the first time in a long time of not working out. I knew I placed my shoes in a place I would find them but unfortunately not the case. I looked in my car, downstairs, every where I could think of I looked. I looked under my bed wondering if was there I saw a bag but I thought no its not there so I didn’t even bother to even look inside the bag. My mind was stuck on the areas I expected my work out shoes to be at but no results, getting even more frustrated and losing hope. I was to the point of giving up but I felt I should check under my bed once more. Finally I gave in to my stubbornness and grabbed the back. What do you know I found my shoes. grabbed my gym essentials. I felt like I needed to play worship music which I haven’t really done in awhile on my way to the gym. I felt God speaking to me about my expectations on where my shoes were at. Even though my life is starting to turn around I finally have a job after about 5 months of being laid off. It’s a job that I love even though its not full time or even a normal part time job. Today I found out I have another interview for a second job for a clothing store, even though I am really grateful to God about this, I still was a bit frustrated with God a bit because it’s not where I excepted my life to be at I thought I would have had an established career already, a place of my own, be married by 23 years old (Hahahaha didn’t happened I am now 24 years old) , have an stable income and budget, feeling like everyone except me was moving forward except me. But God reminded me even though my expectations and mind set are in different places, his plans and expectations for me maybe the things I want in life but they are in a different place than I expect it to be at in this point of my life, but when it’s unexpected. God is full of surprises and he prepares us to be ready for the unexpected and it will blow our minds when it eventual does happen. Sometimes God wants to work out the character issues and fears we may face even if we deny them. especially with our fear of the unknown many of us won’t admit that fear maybe because we feel people look up to you and you feel that if you show of that fear of the unknown that you are weak. It reminds me of the one scene in the Lion King where Simba, Nala and Zazu were in the elephant grave yard, and he scoffed at Zazu for being concerned about the dangers of the grave yard. Then Simba says his famous quote “Danger? Hah! I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger. Ha, ha, ha, ha!” His expectations were he was going to be brave, strong and to prove himself but the unexpected was The Hyneas chased him and the group he tried everything that he could but he was stuck no way to get out but then his father steps in and takes control of the situation to where he knew his son was safe and needed to get where he needed to go in life. That’s how our lives can get with the unknown and the unexpected. We try to prove to the world we can laugh in the face of the unknown and be fearless. But we have to trust in God in taking to the places that we may have never expected to be at to grow us.

This is an ah ha! moment for me but I felt in my heart I needed to share this with those who will read this, I hope and pray this will inspire you and that it makes sense,
Also I found this picture on pinterest.com and couldn’t find the owner of this photo. If you know who took this photo please let me know so I can credited to the artist of this beautiful photo. Thank you

September 4, 2013

Jesus>Religion: New Journey

 

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I am so excited to find out that I am going to be a part of Jefferson Bethke’s Street team for his upcoming book “Jesus> Religion: Why he is so much better than trying harder, doing more and being good enough.” Which will be out on October 7th 2013. I am excited to see what God has in store while I read this book. I feel like God is going to help me grow through this process after struggling to have a close relationship like I used to with him, I have been through alot the last few years. I graduated from Bible college, determined to make Christ fame in the beautiful country Thailand, where I lived in the city of Bangkok as a Children’s Pastor and a Missionary, but within that yeah I got burnt out from ministry, I felt like God calling back home with such an urgancy, little did I know that my Brother who was born with Cystic Fibrosis about 5 months later would pass away from his body rejecting his lungs he rechieved 19 months before hand, for the that time I struggled to understand why God would allow a man of God who was touching the lives of hundreds of people to die. Even though I would go to church here and there I felt empty, resentful, I moved back to Dallas, but I was a bit more open to God and learned I had to forgive God, even though I know he didn’t do anything wrong, I knew I had to forgive him to get rid of resentment. One time God reminded me it wasn’t his intention for my brother to suffer and to die, but in a world that is full of sin cause of the fall of man then I realized God loved my brother but he loved me, also everyone on this earth. It’s still a day to day challenge. I at the moment don’t really have a job, haven’t had a part/full time job since april. Many times I wonder why God has placed me here in the buckle of the Bible belt(Nashville, TN) whatever it is he has a reason, hopefully he will show it to me soon. But I am excited to read this book and I plan on writing on here on a daily basis, and I will have a review on the book once I am finished. Till then you have pre-order: “Jesus> Religion: Why he is so much better than trying harder, doing more and being good enough”  on Amazon or Jefferson Bethke’s Website. I have read the first Chapter already and it is so good! 

Good Night! Off to read the book and take notes on it!

 

 

August 11, 2013

Be A Dream Chaser

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As I have been in Seattle for 17 days, I have been pondering how to reach out to my dream to be a Fashion Designer. I decided to be a Dream Chaser, A person who will follow her dreams. I posted a note on Instagram that said ” Be A Dream Chaser..” “As of today I will do anything and everything to do whatever it takes to be a Fashion Designer. No one will get in the way of my dreams. No more listening to the Dream Killers. But soar and seek for the Dream Chasers.” I decided to find and surround myself more around people who believe in me. Be around people who are creative, and encouraging. To those whom my read this, that are going through a tough time following your dreams, cause of Dream Killers. Always know even if your dream seems wild and crazy. Know that it is possible to achieve it! Yes it may feel like we are traveling a painful journey up the most rocky and jagged mountain. But in the end we get to see the beautiful valley that we have always dreamed to see. Let us Dream Chasers unite and encourage each other!

July 24, 2013

8 Hours Till…

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In just 8 hours I will be on a plane flying to Seattle to see my friends and family. I am excited on what has been planned so far. Helping a few friends with their music and doing a few covers. Going to the Music Experiece Project, the beach, seeing my baby sister for the very first time. Yes I do have a sister who is almost two months old and I am almost 24 years old. I bought her a cute little outfit and something for my 16 month old brother as well. I can’t wait to see them! One thing I wish I could see is my brother who passed away almost two years ago he would be turning 22 this year. It’s so weird to not hear from him, see him when I go to see him or him posting his talent photos on his facebook. But I am thankful he is in a better place but I still miss him. I can’t wait to get on that plane and feel the relief to see the beautiful washington state.